Post by bugg on Dec 7, 2005 11:31:55 GMT -5
>Don't Fart in Bed
>
>
>If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and
>I'll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily
>married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's
>habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake
>his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
>
>Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it
>was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
>perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one
>day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip
>them out!
>
>Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and
>he
>was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the
>turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts.
>
>A malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where
>her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she
>pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of
>turkey guts into his shorts.
>
>Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting,
>which
>was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps
>as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she
>rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she
>reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
>
>About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
>underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked
>him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years
>you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
>
>"What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day
>I
>would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
>
>But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I
>got
> > most of them back in."
>
>
>If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and
>I'll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily
>married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's
>habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake
>his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
>
>Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it
>was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
>perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one
>day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip
>them out!
>
>Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and
>he
>was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the
>turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts.
>
>A malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where
>her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she
>pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of
>turkey guts into his shorts.
>
>Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting,
>which
>was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps
>as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she
>rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she
>reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
>
>About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
>underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked
>him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years
>you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
>
>"What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day
>I
>would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
>
>But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I
>got
> > most of them back in."
