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Post by Saar°berry on Sept 8, 2008 12:54:59 GMT -5
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Post by She-Ra Winehouse on Sept 8, 2008 19:17:50 GMT -5
My favorite little booklet ever is a book called "I Always Get My Sin" and it's written by this Dutch guy employed for Heineken. He worked in Asia a lot and made notes over the years about Denglish, as in DutchEnglish. If you know how to speak the language it's even funnier, but this is a couple of the examples of horrific English these people came up with (I'll provide the Dutch translations for the Dutch speakers and I'll try to explain to the English and whatever speaking people what's going on here).
1 Mutual introductions and social talk
Introduction by author
When the Hotemetotes(The Dutch) have just arrived, they first have to make introductions and do some social talk. They ask what you do, how you do and how do you do your wife (English: how your wife is doing). Some are not the first the best (hotshots. Literaly translated from Dutch) and are working hardly (work hard). Some are doing easy these days ([are taking it slow[/i])
"I am the first woman state secretary for the inside I'm the first female state secretary for internal affairs... and I'm having my first period (This is the first period in time I have this status)"
"My family and I lived many years in the outside world (abroad)"
2 Before Starting The Meeting
Introduction by author
Before the meeting starts, it has to be decided by which points one has to stand still (which points need attention re: in dutch, if something needs attention you 'stand still (=stilstaan)' by it), what would be interested to know and in which matter clearing has to be found (which matters need to be discussed and resolved). Some guests are too late, some cannot attend because they are on rice (they are traveling re: traveling in Dutch is 'op reis') and some are under way
He had it not standing in his diarrhoea (diary)
We still have to suck one lid (find one member re: Dutch words for searching and member are 'zoeken' and 'lid')
Am I sitting for you (in front of you)
3 The meeting Starts
Introduction by the author
Once the meeting starts, the chairman hates them all heartly welcomewelcomes them re: in Dutch you 'heet iemand welkom' when you are welcoming someone) and gives the word to the first speaker (lit. translated from Dutch). They deal out the staple or read the subject hard up before them (they give out papers with information about the meeting or dictate it to the crowd)
"Do we need a sandwalker?(hourglass lit. translated)"
"I do not want to fall with the door in house Dutch saying. Means as much as 'I don't want to spring this on you')"
4 General Statements
Introduction by the author
Now general statements are being made. That somebody has not fallen on his behind head Dutch saying. Means as much as 'I'm not stupid'), that another does not do this for nothing and that this is very short through the curve. But although this is not to do (not do-able), they try to get the noses in the same direction (Dutch saying, means as much as 'seeing things in the same way')
"This is the most interesting virgin (version)"
"I had it a bit difficult (I was having a difficult time)
5 The meeting progresses
Introduction by the author
Whilst the meeting progresses, people ask if it can or if it not can. As there is a lot of wet finger work (improvisation), everyone has to look further than their nose is long (Dutch saying, 'to look beyond what we can superficially see'). If they are on glad ice slippery ground, this is all madness on a stick Dutch saying
And it goes on and on!
Others I love:
"You have been fopped! (You've been had)"
"Fall Dead! drop dead)"
"Why don't you go geeseboarding ( what's that board game in English again?)"
"Indeed, this is not for the pussy (Dutch saying)"
"The wine is over the hill (has expired)"
"A collection will be held for a new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet are asked to do so (If you like to contribute, please do so)"
"May I thank your cock (cook) for the lovely dinner"
"I thank you from the bottom of my heart and also from my wife's bottom"
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nauticalnun
Nautical Twilight
The grapefruit is winning
[M0:27]Scarlet's Walk Through the Violets
Posts: 331
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Post by nauticalnun on Sept 11, 2008 14:20:19 GMT -5
Precious
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nauticalnun
Nautical Twilight
The grapefruit is winning
[M0:27]Scarlet's Walk Through the Violets
Posts: 331
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Post by nauticalnun on Sept 11, 2008 14:26:26 GMT -5
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Post by robynbrock84 on Oct 7, 2008 12:08:31 GMT -5
hahaha that video with that guy punching the guy that popped out of the trashcan made me laugh so hard...thats really funny
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Sammy
New Hunter
Posts: 0
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Post by Sammy on Nov 18, 2008 15:53:40 GMT -5
obsessive compulsive cat flushing the toilet;
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Post by hoochie on Nov 20, 2008 16:38:46 GMT -5
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Post by hoochie on Jan 20, 2009 17:32:04 GMT -5
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Post by lucyispretty on Jan 20, 2009 19:04:36 GMT -5
^Haha, that's so cute!
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Post by Saar°berry on Jan 22, 2009 16:14:58 GMT -5
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Post by hoochie on Jul 5, 2009 13:36:53 GMT -5
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Post by merman25 on Jul 23, 2009 8:10:44 GMT -5
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Post by hoochie on Aug 10, 2009 7:26:57 GMT -5
Be careful what you put on Facebook !!
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Post by She-Ra Winehouse on Aug 10, 2009 9:26:39 GMT -5
OMG! That's hilarious!!!
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Post by Smokey John on Aug 10, 2009 11:13:36 GMT -5
oh...my...GOD
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