Post by Saar°berry on Sept 7, 2003 4:37:10 GMT -5
Got this thru email today... :lol4:
On a blanket from Taiwan
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY
BEHIND YOU.
On a Taiwanese shampoo
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE. :lol4:
On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
On a New Zealand insect spray
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM
TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the
instruction was
INSIDE the box.)
On a Japanese product used to relieve painful
hemorrhoids
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR
APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
OPEN OTHER END.
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On a Sears hairdryer
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a bag of Fritos
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
DETAILS INSIDE.
On a bar of Dial soap
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that
would be how?)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of
the box)
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. :lol4:
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
On a Korean kitchen knife
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. :lol4:
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
On Sainsbury's peanuts
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
On a Swedish chainsaw
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR
GENITALS. 
On a child's superman costume
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO
FLY.
On a blanket from Taiwan
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY
BEHIND YOU.
On a Taiwanese shampoo
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
:lol4:On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
On a New Zealand insect spray
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM
TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the
instruction was
INSIDE the box.)
On a Japanese product used to relieve painful
hemorrhoids
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR
APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
OPEN OTHER END.
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On a Sears hairdryer
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a bag of Fritos
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
DETAILS INSIDE.
On a bar of Dial soap
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that
would be how?)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of
the box)
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. :lol4:
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
On a Korean kitchen knife
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. :lol4:
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
On Sainsbury's peanuts
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
On a Swedish chainsaw
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR
GENITALS.
On a child's superman costume
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO
FLY.
