Post by teppic on Sept 12, 2003 15:45:55 GMT -5
Here's an info dump of (supposedly) funeeeeee things my friends have sent me via email recently...
First this from my mate Ste:-
Why Men Are Just Happier People:-
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station because this one's just
too icky.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - £5000; tux rental - £100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your
friend.
Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45
minutes.
And here's some links from another mate of mine, Steve:-
I take no resposibility for anything that anyone finds offensive, or for any bad results from checking out the links.
But i do take resposibility for anything anyone finds funny. Yes, i do. So there! 
First this from my mate Ste:-
---------
Why Men Are Just Happier People:-
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station because this one's just
too icky.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - £5000; tux rental - £100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your
friend.
Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45
minutes.
---------
And here's some links from another mate of mine, Steve:-
---------
www.tekzoned.com/spank/
(Make sure you know how to use Ctrl/Alt/Del to shut an Explorer window down before using the following link!)http://www.turnofftheinternet.com/
www.eviloverlord.com/parodies/
www.halfapeach.com/funpage/index.cfm?id=74
(And this one is not for the squeamish or chicken lovers - you've been warned!) home.nycap.rr.com/useless/headless_chicken/index.html
(Make sure you know how to use Ctrl/Alt/Del to shut an Explorer window down before using the following link!)http://www.turnofftheinternet.com/
www.eviloverlord.com/parodies/
www.halfapeach.com/funpage/index.cfm?id=74
(And this one is not for the squeamish or chicken lovers - you've been warned!) home.nycap.rr.com/useless/headless_chicken/index.html
--------
I take no resposibility for anything that anyone finds offensive, or for any bad results from checking out the links.
But i do take resposibility for anything anyone finds funny. Yes, i do. So there!