Post by smithversusneo on Jun 21, 2004 14:23:56 GMT -5
"I sit in dark light..."
Feeling fine, I guess it could be true.
But what I guess and what really is can be so much unlike.
Because the pain of not knowing prohibits the blood from flowing.
Through my veins, through my heart, through my life, the clock's winding down.
I can not change what is already fate.
I cannot seem to comtemplate.
That although life may seem so fashionably fine,
it's the state of non-existence that I wish to be confined...to.
I could smile a million smiles and still not have the pleasure.
I could laugh amongst a world of laughter, and still the pain cuts me in two.
Because you will never see the things I've already felt.
You will never know the love I have for being no more.
Is it wrong to seek my own demise?
It it wrong to imagine life as though is was never reality?
Is it wrong, I don't really know...
But as long as the seconds turn into days, I'm sure my life's demise is only days away.
Watch me dance, the dance of the ignorant fool.
Watch me act according to your expectations.
Watch me live each day to the fullest.
But then forget my existence, just as the earthworm forgets it as well.
I am nurishment for the plants who thrive decaying flesh.
I am poison to all those who allow me to bleed upon their floors.
I am nothing to those who disregard my existence.
Oh how I wish I could live my remaining days among those who do not know me.
All I want from life is to be unknown.
To live in the shadows, as I die all alone.
I want all that life has never given me... desolation, isolation, purgatory.
I want to be alone, I want to be forgotten, I want to be nobody, I want to be nothing.
I want to be the blank page in the graphic novel of history.
I want to be the fumes of heat that rise off the ground in the dead of summer.
I want to be the ashes that fall from the cigarettes of burned out humanity.
I want to be... not to be.
I don't know, just yet, on how this feat can be accomplished.
All I do know is that if I'm ever to have what I desire, I must then learn not to desire.
If I wish to live the life of non-existence, I must be non-existent.
I must be nothing to you, nothing to them, and nothing to myself.
written by darC - november 28, 2003
Feeling fine, I guess it could be true.
But what I guess and what really is can be so much unlike.
Because the pain of not knowing prohibits the blood from flowing.
Through my veins, through my heart, through my life, the clock's winding down.
I can not change what is already fate.
I cannot seem to comtemplate.
That although life may seem so fashionably fine,
it's the state of non-existence that I wish to be confined...to.
I could smile a million smiles and still not have the pleasure.
I could laugh amongst a world of laughter, and still the pain cuts me in two.
Because you will never see the things I've already felt.
You will never know the love I have for being no more.
Is it wrong to seek my own demise?
It it wrong to imagine life as though is was never reality?
Is it wrong, I don't really know...
But as long as the seconds turn into days, I'm sure my life's demise is only days away.
Watch me dance, the dance of the ignorant fool.
Watch me act according to your expectations.
Watch me live each day to the fullest.
But then forget my existence, just as the earthworm forgets it as well.
I am nurishment for the plants who thrive decaying flesh.
I am poison to all those who allow me to bleed upon their floors.
I am nothing to those who disregard my existence.
Oh how I wish I could live my remaining days among those who do not know me.
All I want from life is to be unknown.
To live in the shadows, as I die all alone.
I want all that life has never given me... desolation, isolation, purgatory.
I want to be alone, I want to be forgotten, I want to be nobody, I want to be nothing.
I want to be the blank page in the graphic novel of history.
I want to be the fumes of heat that rise off the ground in the dead of summer.
I want to be the ashes that fall from the cigarettes of burned out humanity.
I want to be... not to be.
I don't know, just yet, on how this feat can be accomplished.
All I do know is that if I'm ever to have what I desire, I must then learn not to desire.
If I wish to live the life of non-existence, I must be non-existent.
I must be nothing to you, nothing to them, and nothing to myself.
written by darC - november 28, 2003
