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Post by annemarieirene on Jan 9, 2007 3:51:36 GMT -5
That reminded me of how I felt towards speed... as if speed were another woman. I wanted to quit so many times, but would get sucked back in over and over, and have to watch one man after another succumb to speed, be seduced and controlled by it, as if it were an evil witch.
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Post by annemarieirene on Jan 9, 2007 3:57:01 GMT -5
yeah.. i wanted him too.
it was so wrong, those who know me know of "it", the recent indiscretion in my life
it's been almost two years, and i still shudder when i remember what he was capable of making me feel.
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Post by annemarieirene on Jan 9, 2007 4:02:38 GMT -5
I could totally dedicate this song to my son's father... the ADHD Angel of my life.
Blonde jesus/Cobain cherub with REALLY long fingers and enormous feet.
He told me once that he wished he could "tape my mouth shut and hold me forever".
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Post by annemarieirene on Jan 9, 2007 3:59:27 GMT -5
*screeches*
i don't know whether to tell you to get out of my head, or to thank goddess that you were a witness to my waking nightmare.
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Post by annemarieirene on Jan 9, 2007 4:06:39 GMT -5
This reminds me so much of the lyrics to one of my favorite Berlin songs, "World of Smiles": (Your poem is like Part Two, to me)
"I'm thinking faces changing pictures come to mind try to change the subject
sensation stare reveal me, still i want to know capture time in a photograph
well i say "how do you do" shatters my mirrored view if only your lie would disappear why don't you plaster your face then i just might believe i'll crack you open, smash you down
i repeat your mad charade this game you play's a freeze indifference greetings and smiles you've got yours now i've got... mine
i've got to swallow your pride shallow men hear no rhyme furniture shifts as you walk by why don't you look in my eyes what do you see in there plastic melts in a world of smiles
i'm laughing hurt me, hurt me, now the joke's on you satisfy your conscience
stop talking, stop talking tear me open and leave me here to bleed cut me up, cut me down to size"
Reason for Editing: **************************
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Post by annemarieirene on Jan 24, 2007 23:50:51 GMT -5
Those paintings are amazing... so detailed... thank you for posting the link, Tinus! What a great find!
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Post by annemarieirene on Jan 9, 2007 3:54:25 GMT -5
oh.... ow.... i found my son in those lines.
"I wake from these dreams That will never come true This fire burns when at last i hear your voice Triggering my emotions The ones i feel for you still"
i was gonna post more of it that directly applied, then i realized, it's the entire poem. Jeez. you really nailed it.
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Post by annemarieirene on Jan 9, 2007 4:09:24 GMT -5
The last line hit me like a ton of bricks.
"2 years later, and she still wonders why."
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Post by annemarieirene on Jan 9, 2007 4:12:10 GMT -5
You had me at "cherry blossoms".
Another one of yours that reminds me of my children, particularly my daughter. So much abuse that wasn't mine, so much pain, and nothing to show for it.
"Zero to nothing is eternal"
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Post by annemarieirene on Jan 9, 2007 4:13:09 GMT -5
Oh... this is how I felt when I was still with David before I WENT BACK TO my husband.
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Post by annemarieirene on Jan 9, 2007 4:14:25 GMT -5
"just another dead fag".... indeed.
You paint such vivid pictures with your words.
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Post by annemarieirene on Dec 11, 2006 14:55:02 GMT -5
I searched for two poems that I thought I'd posted but I couldn't find them anywhere, but I guess I didn't! Here's one, It's written for my son, Isaiah ~ Two things you should know before you read it, are that, everyday my kids would ask me how much I loved them, and I'd say, "as deep as the sea". Then, I'd ask them how much they loved me, and they'd chorus together, "As high as the sky, mommy..." And the second is, that I no longer have my kids. Most of you who know me know the story... the post "Here goes" in the "pick out your cloud" section on page two is an explaination. Anyway, here's the poems:
(to Isaiah...)
all the questions you asked of me, thinking I'd never reply were answered with passion, deliberate rote every time i admitted you
all of the places you thought you'd seen once, with me once upon a time, were visited frequently instead of the places we actually were
those mornings the grain in your brain , rough sandy eyes that KNEW they had been with me, weren't illusions; i could smell you hair there
and warm summer breezes under my blanket, the insistant pressure i felt when i yearned for your hand, just your hand
Don't think It's Real, this "Life" you've been handed without me
I've heard all your cries and your screams and your gutteral groans of dismay and also the soft, the softest of lulls of your voice .."as high as the ...."
hang on.
________________________
And here's the second:
Mosaic
Practically hovering over (or instead of) the errant intent i once had
Formally known as leave her alone
I fight crime sometimes (when I sleep) but the pension is lousy from what i heard
Tentively raising my kids.. i mean my hand...I mean my voice
But still slickering through the days as if I have no concern for the time still to come
braiding the hours at hand until my self bled
whispering my truth in case there was an ear with feet that was tappin' it's toe to my beat
i don't know where this mosaic is taking me
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Post by annemarieirene on Dec 10, 2006 18:52:05 GMT -5
It is a very quiet little story... creepy, but quiet!
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Post by annemarieirene on Dec 8, 2006 21:30:15 GMT -5
I enjoyed it so much I tore through it in a couple of hours! I actually prefer shorter novels to longer ones. It's so hard for me to get into books anymore. If I can't get into them in the first 20-30 pages, then it usually doesn't get finished.
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Post by annemarieirene on Dec 1, 2006 17:53:48 GMT -5
oh no!! say it isn't so... her cuteness factor has definitely expired. she was allright when she was younger, but now she just annoys me.
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